Opinie - 16 april 2021 om 11:15 - 3 reacties

Iedereen Kevin

STAN-coördinator Dries Fonteyn over de agressie tegen de jongeman met een verstandelijke beperking in Lommel

Het nieuws dat Kevin, een jongeman van 29 uit Lommel met een verstandelijke beperking, werd aangevallen door een groepje jongeren, beroert iedereen. We wensen Kevin en alle andere personen met een beperking veel moed toe om de angst niet de bovenhand te laten nemen 

Op de foto: team Antwerpen op weekend aan zee (met een go-cart, net als Kevin...)

We worstelen als samenleving met het omgaan met diversiteit. Agressie en andere mistoestanden komen af en toe in de media, met een grote collectieve verontwaardiging tot gevolg. Het is belangrijk dat we uitspattingen, zoals deze er één is, veroordelen en bestraffen (wat gelukkig hier wel zal gebeuren). Tegelijk treft ons vooral het gevoel van onmacht dat we hier met z’n allen geen vat op krijgen. Dat het niet is omdat ik de diversiteit in de samenleving omarm, dat een ander dat ook doet.  

Hoe moeten personen met een beperking hiermee omgaan? Dat is geen eenvoudig vraagstuk en heel vaak een zoeken, van henzelf, van ouders, van de directe omgeving. We mogen dat echt niet onderschatten. Om diversiteit aanvaard te krijgen in de samenleving, moeten personen met een beperking naar buiten komen en deelnemen aan de samenleving.  

Tegelijk willen ze niet te hard opvallen, aanvaard worden en vooral veilig zijn. Dat Kevin en zijn ouders twijfelen om het vrijwilligerswerk terug op te nemen, is in deze context heel begrijpelijk. Dat ouders met een kind met beperking erg geraakt worden door deze gebeurtenis, is dat uiteraard ook. Wat het voor veel mensen extra complex maakt, is dat een verstandelijke beperking vaak niet gezien wordt aan het uiterlijk. Niet iedereen heeft het syndroom van Down. De omgeving verwacht daardoor ook vaak geen ‘afwijkend’ of ander gedrag, en reageert daar vaak ook anders op.  

En toch wil ik hier een statement maken. Uitspattingen zoals deze willen we niet als samenleving. Maar dat Kevin en vele anderen een actieve rol in de samenleving vervullen, willen we wél. Laat je dus niet tegenhouden door de angst. Kijk de samenleving recht in de ogen en zeg: personen met een beperking horen erbij! 

Voor Kevin zelf wordt dat een hele uitdaging. Zijn verstandelijke beperking maakt het niet evident om dit soort traumatische gebeurtenissen in een context te kunnen plaatsen. Tegelijk ben ik er rotsvast van overtuigd dat hij hier ook sterker uit kán komen. Hoe moeilijk dat proces ook is. Ik wens het hem alleszins van harte toe. Ik hoop dat familie, vrienden en buurt hem hierbij kunnen helpen, en als het moet, lijkt me ook psychologische hulp zinvol. 

Ook voor alle andere personen met een beperking en hun netwerk is het een uitdaging om zich niet door angst te laten verlammen. Welke omgeving is veilig? Hoe kan ik mezelf zijn op een veilige manier? Kevin ís zichzelf in die go-cart. Dat het voor jongeren wat ‘vreemd’ overkomt om een man van 29, zonder zichtbare beperking, in die go-cart te zien rondrijden, is ergens ook normaal. Ouders zijn vanuit een veiligheidsreflex soms geneigd om die go-cart af te nemen. Terwijl ik dit schrijf, schreeuwt mijn hele lijf: neem Kevin zijn go-cart niet af! Maar ik denk dat we de realiteit ook onder ogen moeten durven zien: ouders maken wel dergelijke keuzes. 

Deze keuzes horen erbij. Maar laat ons altijd voldoende op zoek gaan naar oplossingen om op een veilige manier een plek in de samenleving te zoeken. En laat ons als samenleving alles doen om daarbij te ondersteunen.

Terwijl ik dit schrijf denk ik: kan de stad Lommel Kevin geen speciale go-cart geven, met het logo van stad Lommel op?  

Vanuit STAN willen we een plek zijn om met ervaringsdeskundigen samen naar oplossingen te zoeken. Dat doen we via praatgroepen, maar in coronatijden kunnen we vooral een luisterend oor bieden. Het team in Brussel of onze vrijwilligers uit jullie buurt staan voor jullie klaar.

 

Reacties

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